Things I wish guys knew, at least when it comes to asking me out:
1) Know your English really, really well. PLEASE do not try faking an accent. It never does come out right. Unless you’re British and you have the genuine accent, which if true, when can I move in with you? :P
2) Be patient with the fact that I am often nervous around new people. I like to think I am witty, but it takes a while to come up to the surface, smothered as it is by masses of roiling anxiety.
3) Please have a small ego. Or at least learn to keep it under control. Don’t behave like a prick who thinks egos are the exclusive domain of guys. I have a not inconsiderable one. If you can’t deal with it, please show yourself out. Now.
4) Please, please, please be bright. I can be nice to dumb people, I can be their friend, too, but I can’t respect them. Ever. And what’s a relationship without respect?
5) Please be able to laugh at yourself. I laugh at myself all the time. It’s better to find myself amusing before the rest of the world gets a stitch in its side.
6) PLEASE DO NOT BE PUSHY. I can’t stress this enough. I’ve had my fill of stalker-whiney types who have no idea just what a LOSER it makes them sound like. If you do not have other plans or friends, I AM going to wonder just why you don’t have them. Please don’t work harder to strengthen this suspicion. I’d cut you off so quick that you’ll fall.
7) Have your own space. Respect mine. Share at least a few interests. Please read!
8) Don’t be crazy possessive. A little bit, okay. Puts spice in every relationship. But a little. Tread carefully here. It ties in well with point number 6 and rings every alarm bell in my head.
9) Nice looking? Dapper? Nice smile?
10) I’d listen. But please, TRY to listen to me too. Men are crappy listeners. I’d be happy if you prove me wrong, really.
11) Have a nice open relationship with your family. I can’t understand people who turn away from parents. Well, I am probably biased because mine are laidback, but still, if the first relationships in your life aren’t good, how do you plan to move on from there?
12) Don’t treat me like a princess. Treat me like an equal who has a brain and an opinion.
13) Respect my need to take a long long time before I am comfortable with the thought of you paying my way. I like my independence. Don’t let it threaten you.
14) Cuddle and kiss me, and let me know that I AM beautiful and perfect and all that you’ve ever wanted on the bad hair/backache/bloody horrible mood days. And say it like you mean it. Those are the days I’d need to know it, you know?
15) No lying. Ever. Big ones, little ones. Especially the little ones. In that case, I would show you out. And not very gently, at that.
Check, check, check? We have a winner here! :D
No wonder I am doooooomed when it comes to matters of the heart!
5 dropped by:
Very well compiled and I agree that some guys fail to understand and act too macho. You are not alone to dislike them
Rofl !! =))
British and move in =)) Can I try and change your opinion about them? :P
And no you are not doomed, this does not look like asking for too much. I am sure someone sensible will understand and those who don't they dont tick your boxes anyway
Hilarious post :D
best of luck
@Pesto Sauce: I can't believe someone read this after more than a year! But yeah, most of this stuff still holds good :)
@Rohan: Ah, I don't think British men are actually the bee's knees, but I can't help but be charmed by the accent. Must be the colonial hangover or something :D
Thank you for reading. I was very surprised to see comments after all this time!
Oh you like the brit accent, I sometimes have a tough time getting it. Used to always think my ears are going bad until I realised that their tongue was actually the problem :P
Also its never too late to acknowledge a 'funnaaaaii' post 'innit' ??
Cheers. U ve got a regular reader now :D
This thing is dying. Do something.
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